Touching on the Tennessee Tea Party controversy again,  Tennessee Teabagger Activist Brian Rieck said the following:

“Slavery is of course portrayed in the textbooks nowadays I’m sure as a totally negative thing. Had there not been slavery in the south, the economy would’ve fallen.”

(You see, slavery and the degradation, torture, rape, murder, and you know, the whole “they ain’t people, they’s PROPERTY” thing was just a minor point when you consider the economic boon it provided for white people. Quit getting all racial and shit, will ya? SHEESH.)

Which of course feeds nicely into the falsehood often preached by Confederate flag-wearing good old boys (who often explain away their use of the word “nigger” with “I don’t mean nothing by it – a nigger can be a white person, too”) that the Civil War was NOT about slavery but about states’  rights. “It was about not allowing the government to take away our economic freedom! We weren’t fighting about slaves at all.”

Keep telling yourselves that, doucheyachts……………………….meanwhile, I and all the people with brains will be educating our kids on ALL the facts.


Sarah Palin is opening her yap and is doing for Newt Gingrich what she did for John McCain……he’s the Titanic, and she’s an iceberg. Abandon ship!

Palin was on Fox Business this past Friday, dishing up her Word Salad Surprise and coming to Gingrich’s defense by comparing his treatment at the hands of Republican infighters to the crucifixtion of Jesus. Because we all know Jesus had three wives, was brought up on ethics charges, and wanted to colonize the moon.

“They’re trying t crucify this man and rewrite history and rewrite what it is that he has stood for all these years.”

Then, the Queen of Attacus Ad Hominemus took to her Facebook page with a slew of  “Snowbank Snooki Says”  mumbo-jumbo which was meant, I suppose, to support Newt but ultimately just sounded like SCREEECH- THE LIBERAL MEDIA HATES ME BECAUSE I’M BEAUTIFUL LIKE L’OREAL PLEASE BUY MY BOOKS AND DON’T FORGET TO WATCH MY BABY MOMMA DAUGHTER SHACK UP WITH SOME NICE NEGROES ON THE TV AND OBAMA HAS COOTIES PLUS  TERROR MUSLIM GENES SCREECH! :

We have witnessed something very disturbing this week. The Republican establishment which fought Ronald Reagan in the 1970s and which continues to fight the grassroots Tea Party movement today has adopted the tactics of the left in using the media and the politics of personal destruction to attack an opponent.

We will look back on this week and realize that something changed. I have given numerous interviews wherein I espoused the benefits of thorough vetting during aggressive contested primary elections, but this week’s tactics aren’t what I meant. Those who claim allegiance to Ronald Reagan’s 11th Commandment should stop and think about where we are today. Ronald Reagan and Barry Goldwater, the fathers of the modern conservative movement, would be ashamed of us in this primary. Let me make clear that I have no problem with the routine rough and tumble of a heated campaign. As I said at the first Tea Party convention two years ago, I am in favor of contested primaries and healthy, pointed debate. They help focus candidates and the electorate. I have fought in tough and heated contested primaries myself. But what we have seen in Florida this week is beyond the pale. It was unprecedented in GOP primaries. I’ve seen it before – heck, I lived it before – but not in a GOP primary race.

~You can read the whole post HERE, if you hate your brain. Just the post title alone made my brain ball up a fist and punch my skull in protest – ” Cannibals in GOP Establishment Employ Tactics of the Left”.

Ummm, no, honey, they don’t .
“The Left” tends to think before they pop off with racist, sexist, homophobic bullshit, and we don’t try to shove our religion down anyone’s throat or uteri , painting ourselves as the party of God and Values while asking for open marriages, hiring Rentboys, and posting “weight loss” photos of our bungholes on Grindr.


image via


Florida congresswhackadoodle Allen West spoke to a Palm Beach group on Saturday and said that Obama, Pelosi, and DNC  chair Debbie Wasserman-Schultz are conspiring to ” enslave the entrepreneurial will and spirit of the American people”, and should “get the hell out of the United States of America.”

West hates liberals, gays, Muslims, and women who think for themselves, and thinks peeing on dead bodies should be written into the military code of conduct ASAP. He loves to use the “principles upon which this country was established” as a talking point to degrade said liberals, gays, Muslims, and women who think for themselves, while convieniently forgetting that those old-timey principles he glories in counted him as 3/5th of a man, and his wife and daughters not at all. But hey, anything to appeal to the base, right?
Allen West needs a tasing to the nutsack.

“We need to let President Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, and my dear friend the chairman of the Democrat National Committee, we need to let them know that Florida ain’t on the table,” West said. “Take your message of equality of achievement, take your message of economic dependency, take your message of enslaving the entrepreneurial will and spirit of the American people somewhere else. You can take it to Europe, you can take it to the bottom of the sea, you can take it to the North Pole, but get the hell out of the United States of America.”

~full West quote ,courtesy of Tengrain@ Mock,Paper, Scisscors


Former Dallas Cowboy and now lunatic fringe Jesus Pimp Ken Hutcherson  took his hate to a Seattle show via telephone  and, borrowing a theme from Rick Santorum,  said that if  the state legalizes gay marriage, men will be marrying horses next:

“If this law is passed, what is going to happen? Now ask your guests in the studio. Do they believe that if they change the definition of marriage being between one man and one woman, what is going to stop two men one woman, two women one man, one man against a horse, one many with a boy, one man with anything?

He then took  his addled self to a Washington state legislative committee where he testified in the following Word Salad Surprise manner that makes Sarah Palin sound like Einstein:

“I want to eliminate the bible, since many have already.

But for the fact of  knowing that all of you must believe in God whether you want to acknowledge it or not.

It is said it is written on your heart you know the difference between good and evil  so I know that you have an issue that you have to deal with in your own life with God.  And I am here as a witness to say I do not think God is excited about SB 6239. Because I think you are saying as a committee and as a legislature that you know better than God.  Since you think that it is a very narrow minded, bigoted, not understanding, and unloving thing to limit marriage between one man and one woman. Are you not doing exactly the same thing?

If you pass this bill, you are just as narrow-minded, you are  just as bigoted and you’re just as unloving to everything and everyone that wants to get married outside of one man, one woman, two men, and two women. But since you think God is not smart enough to make it fair, you’re saying you’re smart enough to make it fair but you’re  still narrow minded, limited, bigoted cause anyone  that is outside of one man, one woman, two men and two women. And if it is not clear that anyone who votes  for this bill that you cannot vote against anyone who is going to bring a bill before you of three women, three men, or any other opportunities for marriage as long as they are adults in love and consenting.

So  I would like for you to really seriously think about what the issues are here. Because if you’re calling me because I believe in the Bible narrow minded, bigotted, a hater and unloving then I am going to throw it back in your lap because if you vote for this you must vote for anyone else who is married to be in line with your governor who says she wants to make marriage available for every sexual orientation. Thank you.”


Football really is a brutal sport……is this what Tim Tebow will sound like 30 years from now after a few too many hits?


Supporters of Newt Gingrich wrote a rap song. Sample lyrics:

“Gο ahead qυеѕtіοn whаt уουr country саn dο fοr уου bесаυѕе anything’s possible wіth president Newt. Yeah, ѕο gеt up οff уουr feet. Gеt up οn thе street аnd tеll everyone уου meet.

‘Hoot, hoot, hoot. Hey everybody vote fοr Newt.”

You can hear the whackness HERE.

Guess what, black people?
You can be janitors AND have your music shamelessly appropriated by people who look down on you when Newt is President!
Oh, GOP……you so CRAYZEE!!!!!!!!!!!


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21 responses

  1. markonit says:

    I am glad that you follow this stuff as closely as you do… I can’t becuase I already have traumatic brain injury and too much exposure to this stuff won’t make it any better..!

  2. Yeah, the civil war wasn’t about slavery, it was about states’ rights. Namely the right to have slavery.

    I just stumbled on to your blog very recently, but I think that you may be the funniest, snarky blogger in the blogosphere. You’re making the rest of us look bad by comparison. keep it up!

    • dcmartin says:

      Holy cow, I am SO flattered – your blog is fantastic and hilarious!
      I’m not worthy, but it means a lot to hear you say that – hope I can keep it up!!!

  3. Nice. Those who don’t share West’s brand of Conservatism needs to leave the country? Ugh. :mad: There is room in this country for more than one political ideology. My message to West: “Kiss my ass, Kid n Play knock off.”

    • dcmartin says:

      “Kid n Play knock off.”
      OMG, THAT’S who he’s been reminding me of!

    • Sedate Me says:

      And at the same time, West is fully capable of appearing civil and sane (by American political standards, anyway) on Sunday morning TV. The fact he can hide it when he wants to makes him even scarier.

  4. thebewilderness says:

    Sometimes I am just dumbfounded by people. I mean if your economy is dependent on chattel slavery it should fail because you are such a disgusting failure at decent human being 101 that your economy is dependent on chattel slavery! Hello?

    • dcmartin says:

      And let’s just start that cycle all over again by ensuring that poor black kids become janitors instead of improving their schools and their educational chances…..menial work is your destiny, boy.
      Thanks, Newt, for giving a hoot. :(

    • Ron Thompson says:

      At the risk of sounding like a slavery apologist, it should be noted that from a purist standpoint, slavery is an ideal condition under a capitalist economy. Capitalism eschews any moral considerations, thus your “decent human being 101″ condition is functionally irrelevant. Capitalism is about maximizing profit and reducing expenses, and labor is generally a huge expense. as a rule of thumb in the American market, a business can expect labor to amount to roughly 30% of overhead. This is why labor arbitrage agreements are so popular with the corporate community (you probably know them under their marketing brand name, “Free Trade™”, but make no mistake, these agreements have nothing to do with Ricardian principles of comparative advantage. Free Trade™ is to free trade what Tang™ is to orange juice).
      Sure, there are articles in the Atlantic expounding upon the problem being with the education system (, making it sound like it’s not about wages and pliability, but these are ridiculous: of course it’s about wages and pliability. This article ( in the New York Times even tries to argue with a straight face that, for Apple, the American education system was why it chose a workforce it could awaken in the middle of the night with biscuits and tea for a crash retraining session on their new production model, all for 2 dollars a day per worker. Americans, they argue, aren’t “educated” enough to handle that kind of rapid change. As an American, I think the truth is somewhere closer to the opposite: That American workers would have told them where to stick their tea and biscuits and demanded premium pay for this ridiculous demand, and anyone who thinks that displays a lack of education is, well, displaying a lack of intelligence.
      In all of this I don’t mean to support slavery, just to point out that any moral argument regarding corporate policies is devoid of any meaningful foothold–morality simply isn’t a function of corporate existence. In any brutally pragmatic analysis, slavery is a win-win scenario for any pure capitalist. It represents a nearly complete eradication of labor cost (you do still have to feed them and provide minimal shelter or they die, then you have replacement expenses) and from a more subjectively personal standpoint, it simply wouldn’t be possible for senior executives to take home 8 or 9 figure salaries if they weren’t shipping all the meaningful labor expenses to countries where wages are a hairline above slave wages and it is still legal to chain the workers to the production equipment and whip them for poor performance.

      The truly sad part of this push by the Tennessee Tea Party is that it reflects one or both of two possible philosophical perspectives, neither defensible. My initial take was that these people are so divorced from reality that their historical perspective is devoid of any empirical, factual basis and purely a function of faith. That, in their worldview, the founding fathers are mythical, legendary figures who are avatars of a subjective set of moral, spiritual and ethical values that happen to conform perfectly to the individual beliefs and opinions of each respective bearer (Like their personal deities, the founders all happen to agree with them on everything). Their perception of history is no different than their perception of the bible; that these are not things of fact, but of faith, and that any who dare speak any word that cast aspersion or doubt upon the icons of their faith are guilty of blasphemy.
      The other thought that occurred to me was a specific reinterpretation of the founders’ beliefs that inures them to the exigencies and injustices of the American system of slavery in a way that lets them believe, deep down, that slavery was ultimately a better system for blacks–who have proven themselves to be unable to succeed on their own and without the rigid, disciplined structure that the slavery system provided. I have a visceral reaction to this interpretation, as I find the entire notion to be on a par with flat Earth and Holocaust denial as an ontological framework of reality. That said, one can’t help but listen to the babbling of those such as Bachmann, Hannity, Coulter or Murray about the “benefits” slavery provided to black people in antebellum America, without at least considering that maybe these people really believe it was–at least in part–beneficial.
      Not to generalize, but I find that modern conservatives tend to be bereft of empathy, in a way that renders them incapable of abstracting the pain and suffering of others–while acutely enhancing the perception of injustice or suffering where it affects their own self-interest. OK, perhaps I am generalizing a little. That said, it’s still largely accurate.

      • dcmartin says:

        The only thing I can add to Ron’s comment is , as usual, a standing ovation.

        And a renewed chant of “blog, blog, blog, BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!”.

        Do it, dammit.

      • Sedate Me says:

        Free Trade has made indentured servitude and slavery the role model for the workforce of the future.

        Capitalism is amoral. It values nothing other than profit. Allowing capital, manufacturing and products to flow freely around the globe all but guarantees production will flow to places with the lowest taxes, labour, health, safety and environmental standards. With regards to labour, that puts incredible pressure on wages and work conditions everywhere.

        In short, it creates a perpetual limbo where people all over the world compete for jobs by lowering their standards below where the bar was set for the previous round.

        “How low can you go?”

  5. is this what Tim Tebow will sound like 30 years from now after a few too many hits?
    Ok, this part made me lmao, but the rest of the fuckfest of haters in this piece…well, I really just want to put them out of their misery. ;)

    • dcmartin says:

      I had never heard of Hutcherson until I saw a burb about him on Joe My God, but his ramblings sound like a poster case of football-related concussive dementia. he seems benign enough now, but I could see Timmy going down that road if he gets sacked a few too many times. :(

      And the rest of these fuckers?
      Just the tiny tip of a VERY huge iceberg.

  6. Sedate Me says:

    Americans are so insulated from the rest of the world, they think slavery is some dark relic of America’s pre-historic past that they defeated, perpetual heroes that they are. They need to realize slavery is in the here & now. There are more slaves in the world today than at any point during American Slavery. If you’ve eaten chocolate, drank coffee, or eaten tomatoes out of season recently, odds are pretty damn good you’ve consumed a product of slavery. Many of the Chinese factories that crank out the poorly made shit we don’t need, but love to max-out our credit cards on, are little more than slave shops. The latest trend at these factories is installing anti-suicide nets, so that workers can’t even end their own suffering.

    And the Republican crowd knows it. Why? Because they’re making money off it. Because they’re “saving money” from the low, low, prices. Slavery was and is all about economics. It’s about reaping profit by exploiting the poor, the vulnerable and those with low societal status.

    And if the long term economic future is what I fully expect it to be, you’ll see slavery take off in America again. But it won’t just be black folk. Increasing numbers of increasingly poor and desperate Americans will slowly slide down the slippery slope of decreasing pay and work conditions until arriving at indentured servitude and slavery.

    This move to rehabilitate the image of American Slavery is just the first step on the road to accepting it as part of the future.

  7. okjimm says:

    oh gosh…. Slavery was good? For the Economy? Whoa… I am learning something here! hhmmmm there must be other uses for Slavery?? hmmmm….Maybe the NFL ? no no no…… say, can I get back to you on this? I’ll have another cup of coffee and mull this over……

  8. Ron Thompson says:

    Slavery was great for the economy. See my reply to an earlier comment, above. There is absolutely no doubt that slavery was a huge economic boon to the southern economy.
    The question you have to ask yourself is, does that matter? Is that relevant?
    The Tea Party of Tennessee have answered: “Yes”, they are saying, “Treating people as human chattel, denying them the rights that we would demand for ourselves, dehumanizing them to rationalize beatings, torture, the destruction of families, the degradation of basic human dignity, all of that was mitigated–perhaps even justified–by the low cost of labor and increased profitability enabled by this labor model.”
    And that’s fine. they have the right to their opinion. So to the members of the Westboro Baptist Church. I respect that they have the right to their opinions, and I defend their right to hold those beliefs and opinions.
    Presumably, they equally respect my right to believe they are morally abhorrent savages with a faint grasp of what it means to be decent, civilized beings in a modern industrial society, and that my personal belief that they shouldn’t be physically expunged from the face of the planet with pyro-accelerants and high explosives in no way suggests that I endorse or abet their philosophically repugnant world view.

    • Sedate Me says:

      But, but, slavery allows me to make a few more bucks on my investments! That money will go even further at the store buying cheap, slave-made products. More money! More stuff! That’s all that matters anymore.

      • dcmartin says:

        My high school choir teacher posted this link a few days ago in which Apple explains why they will likely never manufacture in any meaningful way in the US, and of course, what it boils down to is exactly what Ron laid out in his longer comment and what you said earlier …..the slave market around the world makes it easier and cheaper to produce the goods. (hover over the blank spot for the link)
        ” Apple had redesigned the iPhone’s screen at the last minute, forcing an assembly line overhaul. New screens began arriving at the plant near midnight.
        A foreman immediately roused 8,000 workers inside the company’s dormitories, according to the executive. Each employee was given a biscuit and a cup of tea, guided to a workstation and within half an hour started a 12-hour shift fitting glass screens into beveled frames. Within 96 hours, the plant was producing over 10,000 iPhones a day.”

        Slavery is quite alive and well in 2012.
        Shiny gadgets gotta get made somehow, don’t they?
        You betcha.

  9. David says:

    It’s all starting to make sense. The southern Republicans want slavery back because they are hearty, self-made capitalists. They need bodies for there capitalist utopia to be made real.

    These Republicans, therefore, must fight the Democrats who callously abort black babies because this act reduces the potential available slave work force.

    So, Roe v. Wade was just another battle in the War of Northern Aggression and all the hoops the states are making women jump through to have reproductive choice is just good economic policy.

    Mars Needs Women wasn’t just a bad movie, it was a dog whistle and a warning.

  10. David says:

    I know, “their”, not “there”. If I had a face, I’d punch it.

    You know what I mean.