Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, remote control televisions were a rarity and you were one of the rich kids if you had cable, I used to watch a show called Hill Street Blues. My favorite character on the show was Detective Mick Belker, played by Bruce Weitz……a scruffy, streetwise undercover cop whose favorite line to perps he’d just collared was “Spread ‘em, hairball!” as he prepared to frisk them before  tossing them in the back of a squad car for transport to the station. They’d be interrogated, fingerprinted, photographed, and shuttled off  to bond hearings, then jail, and Belker would head back into the streets to collar more bad guys.

Thanks to the latest SCOTUS ruling, if Hill Street Blues were being made today, Belker’s tag line would have a whole new slant…….instead of a mere frisking, we’d get a scene of Belko donning the blue gloves, and when he says “Spread ‘em”, he’d really mean SPREAD ‘EM. In a (predictable) 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court ruled that jailers may subject people arrested for minor offenses to invasive strip searches, citing the tighter needs of security  over privacy rights.  This ruling came as a result of the case of  Albert Florence, who sued  after being held   in two different jails for one week and being forced to endure  delousing showers and strip searches after being arrested by a state trooper due to an error in the state’s records that  said he was wanted on an outstanding warrant for an unpaid fine. It is notable that even if the warrant had been valid, unpaid fines are not a crime in New Jersey………. Florence should have never been put in jail in the first place. But he was, for an entire week, with invasive strip searches to boot.



 “People detained for minor offenses can turn out to be the most devious and dangerous criminals,” the court said, noting that Timothy McVeigh, the Oklahoma City bomber, was initially arrested for not having a license plate on his car and that one of the 9/11 terrorists was stopped and ticketed for speeding just two days before hijacking Flight 93.


………………..but most terrorists are not running around everyday with their plans, box cutters, or bombs shoved up their anal cavities just in case “Go time” get’s moved up a day or two. You will prevent some smack, cigarettes, and the occasional odd implement that can be fashioned into a weapon or escape tool  from getting into the jail environment, but unless someone tattoos their entire jihad plan on their body à la Michael Scofield in “Prison Break”, you are not going to stop an Oklahoma City-style bombing or a 9/11 with a strip search. You might stop it with an actual ARREST, backed up by good, shared intel from Homeland Security, but a strip search?
It might make you appear to be doing something about terrorism, it might make you feel like you’re doing something about terrorism, but in reality all you’re doing is telling your citizens “relax, honey, just go with it……. you stay distracted with how the government is ‘taking away your rights’ by allowing gay people to get married while we really take away your rights by allowing municipalities to probe your insides with a gloved finger on the strength of  bogus parking fine.”.

It is just amazing to me ( I know, it SHOULDN’T be, but it is) how the Book of Faces just lit up with angry posts from conservatives about contraception and healthcare and NDAA and gun rights (in the wake of the Martin/Zimmerman case) , but  it is absolute deafening silence on this. They bitch about TSA screenings and background checks for gun purchases, but apparently getting stripped searched when you forget to pay a parking ticket is just part of the American dream.

 The Conservative Government…….small enough to fit in your uterus and your anus.

With a gun and a bible.

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9 responses

  1. […] I personally don’t know whether to be offended or excited. I’m still pondering. Denise finds it all odious. […]

  2. skippy says:

    Wow. I thought I was the only one who had love for ‘Belker the Biter’…SCOTUS majority clearly knows a thing or two about what can get crammed up a butt- obviously that’s where they left their good judgement and decency.

    • dcmartin says:

      I freakin’ LOVED that character. And Renko.
      And oh, how Michael Warren as Bobby Hill made me swoon……………….that was one damn good show.

  3. thebewilderness says:

    Obviously the SCOTUS has chosen not to remember the reason police officers arresting, stripping and humiliating citizens became a major issue last time around.

  4. Robert says:

    I just loved Hill Street Blues . That’s one of the good shows we danes are importing from America.

  5. mary says:

    The worst part of it is that the Obama administration supported strip searches. How are we gonna stop this betrayal?

  6. Kenni says:

    Let me start by saying I don’t like the decision. However, the issue was not terrorism, but internal prison security. And the fundamental problem was not the strip searches, per se, but the bad arrest which caused them.

    • thebewilderness says:

      You are mistaken. Different rules apply to people who are arrested from those who have been incarcerated after having been found guilty of a crime.
      They have no business putting a newly arrested person in the general population of inmates who are serving time. They are violating their own policies and procedures to do it. People will be hurt. Lawsuits will be filed. Just like last time. Only this time there will be no recourse when your child is raped and murdered as a result of being arrested for an unpaid jaywalking ticket that had indeed been paid.

    • dcmartin says:

      However, the issue was not terrorism, but internal prison security.
      But the Supreme Court justified the decision by citing terrorism as a factor, which makes the decision more palatable to the uniformed, easily led sheep who think that taxes paying for healthcare and going through a scanner at the airport are unconscionable infringements on personal liberty, but being anally probed at the city jail when you get busted for jaywalking is A-OK.
      We are surrendering our rights under false flags, and the so-called “constitutional scholars” among us are signing off on it right and left.
      People really need to wake the hell up.