If ever there was an argument for overhauling the bill-writing process in our legislatures, Rand “Glad My Daddy Didn’t Name Me Ayn” Paul’s latest in a lifetime of Super-Dick moves is surely it.
s.1940, the legislation that would extend the protections of the National Flood Insurance Program until 2017, contains mandates to make the program fiscally solvent while still providing the much-needed aid homeowners need to rebuild their homes and lives after floods caused by heavy rains, infrastructural failures and hurricanes. Bi-partisan senators have been trying to work out a way to extend this program for the long-term, and they finally reached a plan that was suitable to all……….
all, that is, except Rand Paul.
Rand Paul is concerned that the National Flood Insurance Program is overlooking a key demographic that is just not being served whenever flood damage compensation monies are being doled out to displaced homeowners and businesses……………and he aims to fix that.
Go, Rand Paul!
Libertarian Superhero, looking out for the little guy and striking a blow for Limited Government!!!!!!!!
Who is this overlooked group, you ask, and how does he aim to help them get the flood compensation they are being denied?
Why, FETUSES, of course!!!!!!!!!
And he aims to get them their flooding due by hamstringing the legislation with a PERSONHOOD AMENDMENT!!!!
(Hear that sound? That’s the sound of vindicated Mississippians falling to their knees and declaring Rand Paul their new Jesus!)
After YEARS of grudging, bipartisan work, what better way is there show Americans you give a shit about them being able to rebuild their lives and businesses after a disaster than by tacking a totally unrelated and ridiculous personhood amendment that adopts a national ” life begins at conception stance” banning all abortion and some forms of contraception onto s.1940 that will certainly derail the legislation and cause people already devastated by natural disasters to be further devastated by an endless sea of government red tape because MOAR FETUS PROTECTION SMALL GOVERNMENT IN YOUR UTERUS NOT IN YOUR HOMEOWNERS INSURANCE RAND PAUL SHRUGGED 2012, BAYBEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t have a problem with people wanting to see pro-life legislation submitted.
I’m not going to vote for it, and I’m more than likely not going to vote for anyone who promotes it, but I don’t have a problem with it being presented and voted on FAIR AND SQUARE.
But when people like Rand Paul weasel shit in by attaching non-related riders to defense bills and infrastructure spending bills and things that are TOTALLY unrelated to the issue, I have a big problem with that shit………….and so should everybody else.
We don’t need a constitutional amendment to define marriage.
We need a constitutional amendment to make it an act of treason to insert completely non-related items into legislation just to win a partisan dick-waving contest and claim an extra fifteen minutes of infamy for putting up absolutely no meaningful legislation of your own while constantly ham-stringing every one else’s.
Why does Rand Paul do this shit?
Because he’s a tiny, tiny DICK with an overblown ego, and every Kentucky dipshit who voted for him really needs to find a quiet, locked cellar to sit in during the next election cycle to reflect upon what truly useless Kentucky dipshits they are.
Oh, wait, not quite.
FUCK RAND PAUL.
OK, The End.