Sorry for my absence of late………..LIFE. It has been one heck of a hectic mess, but that is for another post. THIS post shall be a celebration of the continued GOP ButtHurtAPolooza that dominates the headlines (and my Book of Faces Newsfeed) of late.

It appears “urban” has become the new “blah” in whiny butthurt GOP-speak:

“The surprise was some of the turnout, some of the turnout especially in urban areas, which gave President Obama the big margin to win this race,”

~Paul Ryan, in an interview with Wisconsin station WISC-TV after the election loss loss

Ryan blamed the Rmoney/Ryan loss on the large “urban, minority” turnout across the country. Others took a broader view.

“In our state, urban voters had two good reasons to come out,” said Senator Bob Casey, Democrat of Pennsylvania. “One was to support the president, and the other was the state had tried to implement voter ID laws. But assigning one factor to the case of an electoral defeat is usually pretty dangerous.”

Representative Michael M. Honda, Democrat of California, said that “urban” is “just another code word for people of color.”

“But a lot of people of color live in the countryside, too,” he added. “He is just grabbing at straws to justify his loss.”

GODDAMN URBANS.

Mitt Rmoney, meanwhile, made  some phone calls to donors that somehow managed to get leaked because no one in his party can stand his ass, but hey, he wasn’t Obama so they held their noses  and pulled that lever anyway……….

Via Huffington Post

“The president’s campaign, if you will, focused on giving targeted groups a big gift,” Romney said in a call to donors on Wednesday. “He made a big effort on small things.”

Rmoney neglected to mention the things Obama promised NOT to give to blacks, Hispanics, women and gays – gifts like rape babies, slut shaming, wage disparity, marriage and benefit discrimination, death panels, higher taxes  to make up for corporate tax breaks out the wazoo, constant contempt for people who think education  and decent working conditions are worthwhile pursuits – things that  Rmoney campaigned long and hard to make sound as American as apple pie, things that just might have  made a lot of “urbans”, along with EVERYBODY ELSE, take a moment and say “Hmmmm….should I vote completely against my own self-interests this cycle, or should I use my vote to ensure that I continue to HAVE a vote? And an un-rape-babied vagina? And decent pay? And healthcare? And, you know, RIGHTS???????????” 

KEEP FUCKING THAT CHICKEN, BOYS.

Allen West is STILL refusing to concede that his constituents are tired of his psychotic ass. The Florida Congressman was defeated by Patrick Murphy, but insisted on a recount. The recount, so far, seems to be showing that West’s loss was actually  larger than first tallied, so now he wants a re-count of the recount because WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Go away, Mr. West.

Ed over at Gin and Tacos has a fantastic post concerning one Eric Dondero (Rittberg), a Republican/Libertarian who has taken to Facebook and his blog to rant about how you should cut off all associations with democrats…….except when you are shitting all over their nice clean bathrooms at holiday get-togethers. SERIOUSLY.

Texas Senator-elect Ted Cruz says Mitt Rmoney got a little too close to Barack Obama during their third debate, and now he’s like, all gay and stuff.

“It was the one time we actually contested ideas, presented two viewpoints and directions for the country,” he said. “And then inevitably, there are these mandarins of politics, who give the voice: ‘Don’t show any contrasts. Don’t rock the boat.’ So by the third debate, I’m pretty certain Mitt Romney actually French-kissed Barack Obama.”

That gay agenda, it’s EVERYWHERE.

And last, but not least, stoopid motherfuckers are still talking about seceding. People are filing petitions in the name of their states, and numbskulls are running with the idea that it’s a feasible alternative.

To the douchecanoes that think this is the way to go, I would like to pose this question:

What the fuck are you waiting for, chickenshit????

You don’t have to wait for a state (AKA THE GOVERNMENT) to do shit for you…….. do it yourself.

Renounce your citizenship, right now. Cede all your home and property rights back to the state, give up your Social Security and Medicare benefits, turn in all your currency and documents, and surrender yourself to the INS as an undocumented alien. Then wait for them to find a country that wants you (provided it is not one with any form of socialized medicine or government aid to its citizens…..how does Somalia or the Sudan sound, disgruntled patriots???).

If you have the courage of your convictions, you will literally start over with nothing but the clothes on your back and the bootstraps you are so fond of telling everyone else to pull on. You will set the example of how the American Dream is attainable by ANYONE, as long as you are willing to work at it. Show us how it’s done.

Go on, let’s see you do it.

LET’S SEE YOU BUILD THAT.

No?????????????????

Okay, then shut your whiny motherfucking pie-gobblers and enjoy your “trampled”freedom to own guns, worship whatever fucked up distortion of God you so choose, and teach your kids that fossils are a lie and cancer is “intelligent design”.

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ENJOY YOUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO BE A STUPID, STUPID ASSHOLE.

Attention, Whiners:

ButtHurtApolooza is now OVER.

Find something constructive to do with your time.

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3 responses

  1. Colinjames says:

    The DOUCHEPOCALYPSE is upon us. Wtf is wrong with these people!

  2. Becky says:

    I will gladly give them half of South Carolina, if we get the coast.

  3. Sedate Me says:

    Somebody should tell Allen West that they don’t do recounts in Florida.