Would you like to have a conversation with a douche?

Here you go.


I’m John Schnatter, and I’m an asshole.

I don’t want to pay for healthcare for my workers, but I WILL give away my product for free as an NFL tie-in, while said workers will be getting slashed hours and benefits in return for making my product that I’m GIVING AWAY FOR FREE.

People like me have tricked half of America into thinking that the only people who deserve health care if they work for a multi-million dollar business are people  with MBA’s who sit behind a desk and drive a Lexus, and everyone else should go fuck themselves or get a better job…………………….. even though those same Americans keep saying there ARE no jobs and people who are edged out of scholarships and can’t afford college tuition should just suck it and accept minimum wage (that is, until conservative nutbags like Michele Bachmann abolish the minimum wage, because Atlas Shrugged, bay-beeeeee!!!!!).

Now those tricked Americans have organized to celebrate me and my dickish business practices with an Appreciation Day that will last for FOUR MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!


End conversation.

Sit down, my children , and gather around the Negress.

I want to sing you a song.

It’s called “Herp Derp, I’m an Asshole”, and it goes something like THIS:

Liberals are horrible, poor people who are jealous of Success,

So this coming Friday we asshole conservatives shall redress

Their comical way of thinking that the health

Of his  stupid employees should cut into his wealth

14 cents a pizza is just so much more than John Schnatter’s “health plan” can afford

(Free pizzas for the NFL? Wink wink – they’re practically cardboard!)

A turntable for his sports cars and a mansion on a hill

Are Schnatter’s God-given rewards for fighting Obama’s Bill

So this Friday take a stand for truth and the American Dreamer’s way

Order up some Papa Johns

And say “Fuck  Healthcare!” today

Herp, Derp,…………….I’m an asshole

I’m an asshole all day long

Herp, Derp………… I’m an asshole

Sing my conservative asshole song

(Click for bigger image)

Fuck you and your shitty pizza, “Papa” John.

Fuck you, all year long.

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4 responses

  1. okjimm says:

    Papa Juuans is really crappy food. I would boycott them….but I never bought that shit in the first place. You know….I think I will boycott a different company….I am not buying Twinkies anymore.

  2. Becky says:

    Gaaaaaaaaa! An appreciation day for being a jerk. Thank goodness the Republicans are falling by the wayside. A few more years and most of them will be gone.

  3. Kiterea says:

    OK, I’m feeling very vindictive today (I work in retail, so no holiday for me) and am having an urge to go to this page and post ” May all you people who feel like this have some poor, sick, contagious worker who can’t afford to take any time off because of cut hours….. cough all over your pizza.” }:)

  4. mrsmole says:

    I am a self employed, self insured seamstress. Half my salary every month pays for my healthcare premiums. I work 7 days a week to crank out clothes for Republicans who have more money than sense…I am so happy Obama got back in…my clients are all grumbling about their taxes and some have cancelled their normal winter cruises in the South Pacific and Indian Ocean….they think times are hard….ha ha Free pizzas? Free heart attacks…who needs them?