Would you like to have a conversation with a douche?
Here you go.
I’m John Schnatter, and I’m an asshole.
I don’t want to pay for healthcare for my workers, but I WILL give away my product for free as an NFL tie-in, while said workers will be getting slashed hours and benefits in return for making my product that I’m GIVING AWAY FOR FREE.
People like me have tricked half of America into thinking that the only people who deserve health care if they work for a multi-million dollar business are people with MBA’s who sit behind a desk and drive a Lexus, and everyone else should go fuck themselves or get a better job…………………….. even though those same Americans keep saying there ARE no jobs and people who are edged out of scholarships and can’t afford college tuition should just suck it and accept minimum wage (that is, until conservative nutbags like Michele Bachmann abolish the minimum wage, because Atlas Shrugged, bay-beeeeee!!!!!).
Now those tricked Americans have organized to celebrate me and my dickish business practices with an Appreciation Day that will last for FOUR MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!
Sit down, my children , and gather around the Negress.
I want to sing you a song.
It’s called “Herp Derp, I’m an Asshole”, and it goes something like THIS:
Liberals are horrible, poor people who are jealous of Success,
So this coming Friday we asshole conservatives shall redress
Their comical way of thinking that the health
Of his stupid employees should cut into his wealth
14 cents a pizza is just so much more than John Schnatter’s “health plan” can afford
(Free pizzas for the NFL? Wink wink – they’re practically cardboard!)
A turntable for his sports cars and a mansion on a hill
Are Schnatter’s God-given rewards for fighting Obama’s Bill
So this Friday take a stand for truth and the American Dreamer’s way
Order up some Papa Johns
And say “Fuck Healthcare!” today
Herp, Derp,…………….I’m an asshole
I’m an asshole all day long
Herp, Derp………… I’m an asshole
Sing my conservative asshole song
(Click for bigger image)
Fuck you and your shitty pizza, “Papa” John.
Fuck you, all year long.