So you named your blog “Pass the Doucheys on the Right-Hand Side”. And you call yourself a “Negress”? Really???

What does it mean???????? *

Umm, it means I’m black.

 I am also unapologetically liberal, especially when it comes to people.

I don’t think all conservatives are idiots or douchebags by any means, but I DO think an awful lot of the people they elect to serve them are. As a matter of fact, I think their government and media representatives are douchebags of the highest order . Some of my more conservative friends will probably hate this blog. Some, who are really more aquaintences than actual friends, will never be invited to see it. Others will be invited, and they will most assuredly disagree with some of what I say, and agree with some of what I say, too. My mission is not to beat them up about their beliefs, but to speak my mind about things that bother or intruige me, and share my experiences openly and honestly.

   I say “Southern” because, despite having lived 35 of my nearly 43 years of life in the Deep South, I have never really been a “Southerner”. I was born in California and moved to Florida when I was 8, then South Carolina at the age of 23, and to this day true Southerners will ask me “Where you from, honey? You ain’t from ’round here.”. I am a marvel in these parts, I guess – a black woman with an unrecognizeable accent and no ebonics in her speech pattern …that’s unheard of (unless your last name is Huxtable and you live in a TV), judging by the looks of wonder I get from strangers when they hear me speak. 

  I say “Negress” just to get the race thing on the table and out of the way. A lot of people – black, white, or otherwise –  get very bent out of shape over labels and what is appropriate and what is not, and while I certainly don’t (and would not want to) speak for everyone,  MY take is this :

                      I’ve never been to Africa, I’m AMERICAN, “black” is a misnomer because my skin is actually a lovely shade of brown, “colored” is the past tense of what you do to the pages of a coloring book,”negro” sounds very Foghorn Leghorn-y, and “negress” usually comes with a nice side dish of “uppity”. And then of course there is the dreaded “N”-word which needs to go away, but of course never will. To that one  I say this  – no matter what your skin color, if you really WANT to use that word, ask yourself “why?”. If you really don’t want that word to be used, ask yourself, “why?”. If you’ve been using that word yourself, but think others should not – ask yourself “why?”. And if you think everyone should just shut up about it and move on to something else already, you guessed it - ask yourself “why?”.

                  Get back to me when you’ve figured that box of snakes out, will ya?  That and gravity have me stumped.


* Or it could just mean I had a Musical Youth earworm going when I was trying to name my blog. And I’m a bit of a snark-hole.

8 responses »

  1. I’ve not only been to Europe but was born there, yet I still don’t describe myself as “European-American.” I am not a big fan of “White” because I am actually beige. Identify yourself however you choose – there’s no reason to be defined by anyone but yourself.

    Nice blog.

    • Digital Howie says:

      Admit it, man. You’re a honky. Why can’t white people call themselves what they are. You’re a cracker. I’m a fucking honky but I’m not one of those racist crackers.

  2. jef knight says:


    Now you talkin’ MY sense of humour! Nice site.

    So, you’ll love this one kiddo.

    I’ve got a little video of a song I wrote about the love of family and fellow man in contrast to the bad ideas of some who prefer the love of money, power and war. It’s a bit sharp tongued, but hey, can’t say it doesn’t get their attention. ; ) And one such as yourself might ever find the funny in it.

    The New America

    Cheers, and keep up the good work!


    • dcmartin says:

      “The cross is the new swastika”
      Most definitely, when it’s being carried by politicians to get votes. There are, in my opinion, a lot of good people out there who are doing a wonderful job of demonstrating the Christian faith and are truly LIVING their faith…..walking their talk, if you will, and I think that’s awesome. Then there are the finger-pointers and hypocrites who wrap themselves in the flag and the cross and couldn’t find Jesus if he was sitting on their head.
      The first group will get your song and work even harder not to be that which you sing about.
      The second group will whine about being the object of persecution and round up the torches and pitchforks, chase you down, and burn you at the stake screaming “Praise be” the whole time, while denying that they’re anything like those crazy-ass Phelps people.

      Thuimbs up.

  3. Pkirker says:

    And I would Say Your Almaretto :) And spicy to boot. Loved you in school, don’t completly agree with your political Idiology, I am middle of the road..Douchebags on both sides of the table. Can’t Stand em. I say CLean house Both sides…NOW. But anyways..back to music. Love ya Denise.

    • dcmartin says:

      Love you, too, Paul…..thanks for stopping by! And you are right, there are douches left, right, and center. I loved what you posted the other day about term limits……I think it’s way past time to put that in motion, but the powers that be will never let it happen. Politics is big business, and they are never going to let the people kick them of the teat. The people can be kicked off the teat, no problem – but politicians? They’ll kill us all first.
      I hope you’ll stop by again….you’re always welcome, and your expression is wanted.

  4. Oshkosh John says:

    The humor,satire, and snark are well-balanced. There should be more noisy, funny Black ladies in the Interweb Tubes. That you call your site Pass the Douchey on the Right Side instead of Dutchie is pure gold. That joke dates you, however. I try to visit this web site at least weekly.

  5. Jc Vanepps says:

    Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!

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